On wives and gadgets

I was googling  for writing tips for procrastinators and found a hilarious exchange that took place in 1987 about favoring wife with a typewriter over a new computer: WHY I AM NOT GOING TO BUY A COMPUTER by Wendell Berry. The page is here. I wondered why and expected something similar to what you find on lifehack an other productivity porn website. Wait, it was different. The reason to why he was not going to buy a new computer was this:

"My wife types my work on a Royal standard typewriter bought new in 1956 and as good now as it was then". 

Today, it would be Mrs. Berry vs Blackberry. Mr. Berry then  completes his essay by outlining standards for tech gadgets.

To make myself as plain as I can, I should give my standards for technological innovation in my own work. They are as follows:-

1. The new tool should be cheaper than the one it replaces.
2. It should be at least as small in scale as the one it replaces.
3. It should do work that is clearly and demonstrably better than the one it replaces.
4. It should use less energy than the one it replaces.
5. If possible, it should use some form of solar energy, such as that of the body.
6. It should be repairable by a person of ordinary intelligence, provided that he or she has the necessary tools.
7. It should be purchasable and repairable as near to home as possible.
8. It should come from a small, privately owned shop or store that will take it back for maintenance and repair.
9. It should not replace or disrupt anything good that already exists, and this includes family and community relationships.

1987"

 All the above sound reasonable,  if we ignore the fact that he was talking about his wife with a typewriter as an alternative. Th essay, the text on that page says, was  first published in the New England Review and Bread Loaf Quarterly, was reprinted in Harper's,  and then the Harper's editors published the following letters in response. Now read the first one:

---

LETTERS

"Wendell Berry provides writers enslaved by the computer with a handy alternative: Wife—a low-tech energy-saving device. Drop a pile of handwritten notes on Wife and you get back a finished manuscript, edited while it was typed. What computer can do that? Wife meets all of Berry's uncompromising standards for technological innovation: she's cheap, repairable near home, and good for the family structure.
Best of all, Wife is politically correct because she breaks a writer's "direct dependence on strip-mined coal."
History teaches us that Wife can also be used to beat rugs and wash clothes by hand, thus eliminating the need for the vacuum cleaner and washing machine, two more nasty machines that threaten the act of writing".

Gordon Inkeles Miranda, Calif.

I laughed when I read this. Then, I quickly copy pasted it into a text editor and modified the text into this:

 STANDARDS FOR CHOOSING NEW GADGETS AND BOYFRIENDS

1. The new gadget or boyfriend should be more affordable than the one it replaces.
2. It should not occupy more space than the one it replaces.
3. It should do work that is clearly and demonstrably better than the one it replaces.
4. It should use less energy than the one it replaces.
5. If possible, it should use some form of autonomous energy source, such as solar energy or restaurant takeouts.
6. It should be possible for a person of ordinary intelligence, to maintain and repair it, provided that he or she has the necessary tools.
7. It should be possible to obtain it as near to home as possible.
8. It should come from a small, privately owned place  that will take it back for maintenance or return.
9. It should not replace or disrupt anything good that already exists, and this includes family and community relationships.

The standards probably need more editing, later. I am back to my work.